I can honestly say that I am just not coping at the moment with all this and I just don't know what to do about it. I mean, I'm not coping, I'm exhausted, I'm constantly crying, but there isn't anything that I can do about it. I can't just decide that I'm not coping. I have to just get on with it. I don't have any other options to go to except when I reach the nights where I really can't do it anymore and I just swallow a couple of benzodiazepines and pass out so I don't deal with the nightly 3 hours of crying and thrashing around my room. I know this isn't healthy and it just compounds the problem in the end but some nights I just can't face the craziness and need a night off of it.
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