A good week

So I've had my first good week in ages. It's so strange though when I have a good night I'm too scared to get excited about it because it never lasts. So to have four good nights in a row I don't really know what to do with myself.  One thing I have noticed is that I'm so happy during the day, I'm excited to get to work in the morning and put my ideas into practice, I'm excited to see my staff. I'm productive, I'm happy, I want to do things in the evenings. But at the same time it makes me sad because I know it won't last and I just see how much I can do and how happy I can be when I actually sleep that that then in turn makes me really really sad that it can't be my normal reality. My staff and friends noticed the change in me and I want to be like that everyday but most other days it's just a mask and it's so so hard to keep that mask on all day, I'm often not successful. Even my suicidal thoughts have completely disappeared. I don't want to jinx anything but it's 2am and I'm about to head to bed and just really hoping the universe gives me just a few more good nights. It's so wierd going to bed and not being petrified, just literally a case of okay I'm tired now therefore I'm going to bed. Is this how everyone else lives? Oh if only!!