Thanks for taking my holiday

I've been on my long saved for holiday of a lifetime for the past 3 weeks, staying in the UK, Portugal and The Netherlands. I've had a wonderful time, being back with my friends, sightseeing, doing things but it's been slightly tainted by one thing. My nightmares have been worse than ever whilst I've been here and of course this has led to a low mood as well as lack of energy to do the things I came here to do. It is incredibly frustrating when you have spent thousands of rands on a trip of a lifetime for yourself and it is spent dealing with this shitty disorder. It is my 3rd last day in London and I've been awake since early as I was having terrible nightmares and then I decided I had no desire for another one so I just stayed up. This means that during my great plans I have for today though I won't have much energy and will be tired and probably just want to come home. I'm just over having this in my life. Fuck you nightmare disorder. Fuck you.