Could this actually be it??

So something great has happened.  I think I may finally have found a solution to the awfulness which is nightmare disorder. When I saw my psychiatrist 5 weeks ago she decided to revisit a previous treatment which I tried, which was Pratsiol. It is an older medication used to treat hypertension (high blood pressure). I have been on it before; but a very low dose. And in combination with a very large amount of other medications.  My psychiatrist decided to give it another go.  A week later when I saw my endocrinologist she prescribed me Trepaline.  It is a drowsy anti-depressant. It seems that in combination, these 2 medications are finally having an effect.  The Trepaline is making me very drowsy at night, thus making me "too tired" to have a pre-bed freak out and so decreasing my anxiety before bed.  The Pratsiol is making me quite hazy in the mornings so sometimes I'm aware that I had a bad dream but I can't quite remember what about, so no waking up shouting, crying, vomiting etc. Also, the nightmares which I do remember, are much more realistic, such as real work pressures which I'm having at the moment. Not these crazy, twisted, torture dreams. But I find myself waking up, remembering the dream, but then just getting up and getting on with my day. Not taking at least an hour to come down to earth from the meltdown which I'm used to following sleep. 

Could this be it?

I'm so so so petrified to believe it may be.  This has been the longest, hardest, most horrific journey which I've ever had to endure. And it will take me months if not years to recover from this. That's if it is actually over.  I don't believe anyone will ever truly have any comprehension of what I have endured over the past 3  years with this disorder, but I really have some beautiful amazing friends who have truly held my hand through it. Klara - always been there for me every step of the way without any speck of judgement for any of my decisions in the way that I've chosen to deal with this. She has truly been my rock during this journey and I can never express my gratitude enough!!

Hannah, Tamsin, Caroline, Simone, Sian, Tara, thank you so so much for everything.

This is finally a happy post. And whilst I'm so hesitant to actually believe this may just be it, I have to hold onto hope. That's what I've done this whole time and it's honestly the only reason I'm still alive today. Even if it doesn't last, I'll at least use this time to actually be able to live. One can only hope :)