Do I go out just to avoid sleeping?

I have found myself lately going out a lot more than I used to...at first I think this was from coming off the medicine and finally actually being awake at night and wanting to do stuff. But steadily I'm finding myself going out when I'm really not in the mood because I feel that it's better than the alternative which is sleeping with which comes dreaming. I can only distract myself for so long though, eventually I will need to sleep. That, sadly, is inevitable every night. 

Poem about nightmare disorder

A poem I found on Instagram which describes nightmare disorder really well

It's always the same but never alike

Things you'd not believe appear every night

Only barely human, nearly morphed into a beast

Or disfigured faces that upon your fear feast

No telling what shows next, no thing of flesh or bone

Stirring in the shadows, I'm no longer safe at home

This anticipation has me fearing sleep

For what ever happens

They'll find me in my dream

The Choice

Each night I have two decisions, exhaustion or hell.  Hell would be sleep, because that's what my nightmares are. And with sleep, the nightmares will come. Each night I make that decision but sadly I can't go through a night without sleep, so it always ends up back in hell. I guess I just decide how much hell I'm willing to go through, the trade off being exhausted the next day. I really feel like an early night tonight cos I have to be up early for a birthday thing tomorrow. So some extra hell I guess. Thinking I may set my alarm for 4am to knock off my REM sleep cycle. Oh the joys of having this I curable disease. 

The Australian airplane disaster

When I first woke up this morning it took me about 5 minutes to remember my dream and when I did, I just started sobbing uncontrollably and have been for the last hour. 

I dreamed that I was in Australia visiting friends when we were standing out in the Sydney harbour and a plane started coming down very low.  It knocked on a lap post and you could see that the pilot was trying to get control of the plane but he couldn't. Then, the plane went down into the water and just three people came to the surface, the rest were all dead.  One of the survivors told me I should deep see dive to go help save the other people so I did, only for one of the corpses to rape me.